can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
