put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
