Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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