i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
