well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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