Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize