Define "chronic" masturbator.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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