i just google imaged poop.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
