wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
