Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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