I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Yo dont text me then not text me
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Randomize
