i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
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Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
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At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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