It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Randomize
