right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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