its not stalking. its research.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
