She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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