Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
