Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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