I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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