DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
