What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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