Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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