I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just high enough for therapy.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
