at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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