Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
