Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
it's like iHOP with fire
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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