I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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