I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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