i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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