I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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