So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
