You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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