She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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