they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I think I am morally bankrupt
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
