That's intense
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
