this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Vodka?
Forever.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
