yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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