You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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