I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
