I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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