His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
