Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
