evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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