First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
