I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
