in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
