I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
