i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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