idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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