I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
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He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
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I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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