your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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