The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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