i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
