im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize