it glows. i had to have it.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
