So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
