she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize