Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize