hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
