Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
