Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize