You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
