ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
