yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
