she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
