the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
